This is just a big, long twitter ramble. But still its one that I hope is encouraging to everyone and gets my thoughts across about 3-4ish years later.

The source is here, but I will copy everything and paste it below

https://twitter.com/ceroblitz/status/960158505792499713

It is probably to read it directly off twitter, since they're all in nice 280 word chunk limits and spaced nicely. But I'll keep the transcript here anyways.

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i just looked back on 2014 and the oh man era and how creatively motivated i was... man... what did uni do to me..?

honestly, i am surprised at how enjoyable re reading oh man was even now, 4 years later and its like rough and looks horrible, but somehow it is still readable and enjoyable ( and how much i actually made, jesus)

but i see that it started to get a bit out of hand, which i did have plans for... but when it was a loose monster with less planning and worldbuilding, it was a lot more fun to read and write... hmmm

i guess also going through depression long after that point did a number on me as well... oh man has so many chapters but the quality makes me sad so its like even if i decided to continue, how many new readers would drop it at the beginning?

while i might enjoy it since i wrote it, i feel like i have been separated long enough from it to give it a good solid look from what others were reading, so hrm... even so, a lot of experimentation was being done towards the end because i wasn't satisfied with my art.

but either way the ideas i had 4 years ago still resonate with me and i can see why people want to read more, even though it started to get really messy plot wise and a bit hard to keep track of everything... i guess it was hard after that considering uni focuses were growing

right now im primarily focused on practicing drawing and seeing what i can do with that, but i realize a lot of problems oh man had and how i can apply it onwards... but i am still surprised at how i got caught in by it... i thought i'd be cringing at it and stop reading 5 chs in.

anyways if you read this all and are a new follower, just a small reflection and ramble. if you were here since the oh man days, thank you for continuing to follow me, even though its been so long (If you guys are even still active here ).

also just reread through my blog post. all those points still hold true, once the comic becomes an obligation rather than a passion, it crumbles. doing it for monetary gain may have caused that? im unsure, probably not. Honestly its so hard to start and follow through.

I thought id feel bad reflecting on my past, ( though there are some cringy posts on there that i refuse to read), but confronting it was kinda inspiring, and showed me the point of all this. you make good thing if you enjoy it and when its fun, nothing will stop you.

realizing this is one step, and achieving it is a leap. but that leap is hard and difficult to make. but if you do it, you'll be glad you did. I'm glad i released those unfinished comics, oh man, and even cringy posts. even all that bad art makes me happy. its good to be creating.

and honestly, everyone was so supportive back then, i can't believe it. honestly, thank you so much. i've said honestly so much and now it sounds weird. oh well. If you really read all of this, thank you as well.

---- I slept after this part for about 4 hrs ----

more thoughts: that time i was doing the comic is when i was able to grow the most as an artist, just constantly drawing and striving to get better every day. I really do wonder what I lost over time, as it doesn't feel that different, but I know that something is missing in me

I haven't made anything significant in years, really (solo projects), I've worked on a number of things that have taken quite a bit of time (group projects) but maybe that burned out all my ability to create large scale projects since those have all been just learning experiences

but the drive to create is there, but overthinking it is bad. No more overthinking. that nike logo is right, just do it, just do it. I think overthinking oh man may have jeopardized it, and my worry for keeping up quality really interfered with content creation

It's like, I want to make things fast enough to enjoy it as a reader alongside other readers, and don't want to disappoint myself either, so "how can I make this the most interesting to myself as possible, while making things still enjoyable?" large plotholes are bad.

I try my best to avoid all that, and every time i introduce a new thing I have to make sure it flows well, so I have to keep track. But once I do that, is that overthinking it? It certainly helps, but maybe it distracted me so much that it prevented me from continuing the story.

Also, taking in too much media is entertaining, and can help bring new ideas to the table, but that can easily also be considering overthinking it. Oh man was a simple story with acronyms literally thought up on the spot, and it worked great. Don't always take things so seriously

Anyways, wrapping up this extra segment, I'm glad I feel this way. It may be arrogant to say, but I am proud of everything I've made so far. All I can really say is that everything that has bogged me down in the past few years is gone, so, lets keep creating.

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I'd say that I should probably make things before writing, since that's probably my greatest folly and leads to a quick death.

Anyways, take this as what you will.

 

I've been caught up in making another game, but this time it is with my full force and interest-- An mmorpg down to the simplest and bare necessities of online interaction-- while remaining fun with pvp, and balancing the grind and not something that demands your time or makes you solo everything.

It has been a long time over the course of my life to get to this point, but it feels like everything just cycles over and over... As for the comic, I just can't balance out everything at this point, where I only pretty much will release updates whenever I feel like it, whenever I can. The game will be my primary focus for now, and this time, a foreseeable release for you guys and everyone to enjoy is within a viewable time frame-- within the next few months.

Either way, I'll try and make this one brief, but I'm happy to work extremely hard on making this game good ( I've put over 100+ hrs working on graphics, with another working on all the programming), so look forward to it. I'll be posting about it more in depth later.

I die, and come back, die and come back... the cycle repeats. Mostly because I always cycle between interests like every 2 seasons, and always face a period of inactivity... So I've been the least productive at any point in my life for these past few months, just moping and lazing about since I just feel like all my creativity and passion died alongside my will to do things in general. That mostly comes at the reason of the futility of living and doing general work. I just believe things in a certain way that work for the sake of working-- not even for allowing people to survive or receive money, is just a mindset people have ingrained; if that is a natural thing or whatnot its just something that doesn't make sense; especially since we're on the verge of having technology displace the job balance between the work needed to sustain the population. Just tradition can lead to power and such and so on. Either way, I just feel like the world changes so rapidly that keeping up until the old is out and the new is in is pretty much useless. Probably has to do with the overall transience of things.

Anyways my problem is that I obviously, tend to lose motivation or interest in my own stories, because I end up making them overcomplex-- even though interesting to me at least, fail to see past the light of day since not only do they feel unoriginal-- but lack so much freedom that not working on them is punishing. Since the past few months have gone by, 4 months ago, I was actually making another comic, but that died for a lack of direction + ran out of ideas-- it felt more like a vent and rant but for some reason, when I make comics, I just find revitalization. But I was indeed completely dead these past 4 months for a whole slew of reasons. I just forgot and lost my purpose and desire to do things. That and I extremely hate the concept of money really demotivates me to do things (having money to survive is nice, but thinking about it angers me, so I feel like I'm slowly dying). Yeah, it is a weird thing, but I just detach it from a lot of things-- things have value in utility, but i just feel like money is a better concept where it is used as an expense for expensive things rather than day to day interactions. Eh whatever. This is extremely ranty anyways.

Anyways, I have at least 3 comics that have never seen the light of day. And recently, started working on something again. I don't want to promise anything since I have practically broken every promise of such things in recent times. But I think I might have something this time... Hopefully with elements from here and there and a day to day format ( each page can be read on its own sorta ), it will be more flexible and open up to whatever I want to do.

I've wanted to write something about my thoughts, something shallow and entertaining, something exciting, something cool, something cute, something that hasn't been made before, something that I can just go along with and say: this is something. I just hope that my creative death isn't actually what I think it is and I can go forward with this, and make people and myself happy with my comic.

Thanks to whoever reads this messy post, and stay strong.

 

-ceroblitz

refresh refresh refresh

small post for small site

just some random words going here

 

nintendo switch looks neat

 

working on http://skyshotgame.com/

neato burrito

 

 

 

Summer is already running out.

This summer so far, I have learned a lot of things that I didn't want to know. Boy reality sure does catch up with you on your senior year of college. Getting things done is the most difficult thing ever, and time speeds up like hell.

 

Anyways, since I've been really slacking on getting on my goals, I thought writing a journal would be the #1 way to get back on track. I've kept promising a comic to present to you guys over the summer, but never got around to doing it. So instead, I'm gonna give myself a deadline of certainty. Over the next week, I will begin to release something, no matter what it is, even if it is incomplete or not. Quality will be kept high though, and keeping in mind everything I've said before is of importance! Either way, I feel like gotten to a point where when, and if I look back on these first few panels, hopefully, I won't say they're atrocious (ha ha). Either way, if you follow me on twitter, you have already seen my concept of what I plan to create. I shouldn't be afraid of failure, changing my creation, ideas, developing, or originality, because these things are really chaining me down.

Starter Characters!

 

Too much planning is fun and always good to get the idea ball rolling, but if the idea never starts, it never gets off, and my responsibility and desire to start it disappears. I have started about 3 different ideas between this blog and the last blog, but none of them made it to the creation stage. They did have lots of development, and one even reached 16 pages of script, and 6000 words for planning and ideation. I apologize again for not actually releasing anything. But this will be different. I will start this one for sure.

the theme and style!

 

See you guys in a week!

 

-ceroblitz

Just a small update, or decent update to the site.

I have added the Gallery to the website! I will be consistently updated with new works and the like, as long as they are good enough by my standards. It is just starting out so it still needs work, but it will become more active and a lot better over time.

Otherwise, you can just follow me on other stuff to get everything!

I'm most active on twitter

and you can follow my tumblr

I really don't like using facebook that much for news updates, unless they are major, or else it just feels like I'm spamming you guys. As I am still kinda busy and getting busier, it may be difficult to work on large projects, especially since I feel like I still have a really long way to go to improve in art. This is something that will be the ultimate endgoal.

Anyways, In the gallery, you may notice a lot of "Skyshot" related things, which is a game I am working on, in a team. It will take over my life for the coming year so I may talk about it a lot, depending on how interesting it is for you guys. Either way, I hope to try and keep up a bit more, but if that fails, follow me on those other things.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

ceroblitz