blargh im blargehwhddhbsbsbs
i overthink and i suffer its great
great blog post
blargh im blargehwhddhbsbsbs
i overthink and i suffer its great
great blog post
This blog is not really a personal blog of any sort or any level, but I feel like making a personal post right now.
Now, where to begin?
also, don't read this post
Right now, I am not really happy with a lot of things and see futility in a great deal of things, as if I lost purpose in finding anything to do or feeling anything fufilling. This relates so some of my tweets that have been said in similar fashion. Having access to the internet is great, but for me, its probably too great. I learn things I probably were better off not knowing, enjoy many things without having to work as hard for them, and I feel like I am probably "spoiled" in that sense. Usually, people get a sense of gratification after getting something in return for their hard work, or find something enjoyable that they have not experienced before. Its different for everyone but, in the general sense, that sums of the gist of how people enjoy life in general.
You work, and get rewarded for your work.
Now how this relates to futility, is that recently, my capacity to enjoy these things has been greatly diminished. I have experienced a great deal of things, (as arrogant as that sounds), but that all relates to how I probably perceive things. I just don't feel that gratification after a certain amount of time, and it needs constant refueling, in order for me to keep going. It's just really difficult to put the extra effort into something, to make it great, without much feedback in return, personal and kind of far. My expectations are at a standstill, both low and high, for what I make, but in turn, I never feel like I've made anything that is truly amazing. My game, Recipitation, is something that I am quite proud of for the work I put into it, but ultimately, it isn't something that I could put as my defining piece. I do appreciate supportive comments, but they have a bit of distance to them and lack a sense of community to them, which leads into another problem that is more on my end.
I am very intrapersonal when it comes to making friends, and do not talk much about myself, or my specific interests. My general interests, sure, but I find it very difficult to align myself with general thoughts. This might be why I don't draw fanart of many things, even if I do greatly like them or enjoy them (not to mention the gratification thing). Striking up conversations with unfamiliar people is something I also don't do very often, and in certain settings, tend to prevent them from thriving. Kind of contradictory, with this entire blog post's existence, but that is something I want to fix myself.
Maybe I'm just too picky...
Either way, combine this mentality with the burdens of the future, the end of my college years, things are coming upon myself, and in my year, i'm pretty sure im absolutely the least prepared person that I know. I've made 0 close friends, and tend not to ever go for anything that sits outside my comfort zone. Oddly enough, I don't really regret it, thought I might come to feel so later, as I continue to age and fail to find interest in life. At least on the online spectrum, things are a little better, but only marginally. When those people are gone, you really get a perspective of things, and realize your place in the world, which is pretty lonely and quiet. I really do wonder how I managed to survive so long invested in the internet without ever taking action to abuse the nuances of it. I guess I couldn't really put myself to selling myself or risking my near nonexistent identity with pride or anything, for that matter.
Observing my general status and interests really puts me as an "average joe" on the internet, but with no particular sides or interesting aspects that appeal. I have some ability to draw, but I don't use that ability to make myself relatable with many people, cause i'm so darn selfish and picky.
I wonder how many people are actually reading this silly little post. hah ha ha...
Maybe you guys want a TL;DR, so here you go:
The future is bleak, my life is pale, and my personality is selfish and picky. Few things make me feel happy and fufilled these days. Maybe its because I don't have close friends. I hope these times are only temporary...
Anyways, I hope this blog post didn't depress anyone who reads it, but if you want to try talking to a difficult and hard to approach person (me), you can try to in the comments.
In other news, I do have a bit of noCore generally planned out, but I still need to work out the story details and nuances. I really don't plan on quitting on it, but in my current condition and status quo, it may be a bit more "unstable" in it's medium.
This was quite the selfish post, wasn't it?
Summer is already running out.
This summer so far, I have learned a lot of things that I didn't want to know. Boy reality sure does catch up with you on your senior year of college. Getting things done is the most difficult thing ever, and time speeds up like hell.
Anyways, since I've been really slacking on getting on my goals, I thought writing a journal would be the #1 way to get back on track. I've kept promising a comic to present to you guys over the summer, but never got around to doing it. So instead, I'm gonna give myself a deadline of certainty. Over the next week, I will begin to release something, no matter what it is, even if it is incomplete or not. Quality will be kept high though, and keeping in mind everything I've said before is of importance! Either way, I feel like gotten to a point where when, and if I look back on these first few panels, hopefully, I won't say they're atrocious (ha ha). Either way, if you follow me on twitter, you have already seen my concept of what I plan to create. I shouldn't be afraid of failure, changing my creation, ideas, developing, or originality, because these things are really chaining me down.
Too much planning is fun and always good to get the idea ball rolling, but if the idea never starts, it never gets off, and my responsibility and desire to start it disappears. I have started about 3 different ideas between this blog and the last blog, but none of them made it to the creation stage. They did have lots of development, and one even reached 16 pages of script, and 6000 words for planning and ideation. I apologize again for not actually releasing anything. But this will be different. I will start this one for sure.
the theme and style!
See you guys in a week!
Just a small update, or decent update to the site.
I have added the Gallery to the website! I will be consistently updated with new works and the like, as long as they are good enough by my standards. It is just starting out so it still needs work, but it will become more active and a lot better over time.
Otherwise, you can just follow me on other stuff to get everything!
I'm most active on twitter
and you can follow my tumblr
I really don't like using facebook that much for news updates, unless they are major, or else it just feels like I'm spamming you guys. As I am still kinda busy and getting busier, it may be difficult to work on large projects, especially since I feel like I still have a really long way to go to improve in art. This is something that will be the ultimate endgoal.
Anyways, In the gallery, you may notice a lot of "Skyshot" related things, which is a game I am working on, in a team. It will take over my life for the coming year so I may talk about it a lot, depending on how interesting it is for you guys. Either way, I hope to try and keep up a bit more, but if that fails, follow me on those other things.
Thanks for reading!
So, as of late, I have discovered this website, called Medibang. It's essentially a free drawing program on mobile and computer devices, and its very in depth with unique tools catered to making manga. I have been experimenting with it as of late, drawing on it, and I discovered the Medibang platform for creators.
The medibang platform is a very exciting prospect, and I'm very excited and happy that their company does what it does. Connecting a widespread audience for comics, writing, and illustrations, (between English, Chinese, Korean, and Japanese languages) It's almost like a dream for me. I feel like the opportunity and upkeep that the site gives can open up to much more by working hard and getting involved with this website, to promote across a level that can allow more people to access your work. But translation and the language barrier was the biggest issue to do this independently.
That's what Medibang does. If you are successful and are able to make something interesting enough, you can get your works translated to each of those languages with a partnership. With such a thing, your work has just been opened to a whole new international audience, and that just is so very exciting! Not to mention, the tools that Medibang provides gives more flexibility and are simpler than any other drawing program. It has many different shape rulers, which makes impact effects easy, drawing backgrounds in perspective much less of a hassle , unique brushes for more easier ways to do certain things and effects (symmetry brush, edge brush, speedline brush), materials and textures provided from the get-go, and so on. While it has a few issues with how in depth the tools and options for brushes are, the unique tools and options already provided from the beginning are good enough to use from the start.
Anyways, here are the two drawings I've completed on it so far. I've yet to get used to this program, But I see a lot of potential with this idea and company, and will focus on it immediately. (sorry about that story promise, but I think this substitute will be good)
As of now, I'm working on a new comic in a one-shot (lead off) format, and will link it here when it is ready. If you want to check out my profile there, here is the link.
If you want to download the program, check it out here.
Thanks for reading!
Well it sure is, when you consider everything, it really is hard to write something with everything you want and in a solid block. Sometimes, I feel the need to just block off the rules and formalities, in order to write, and sometimes I feel like if I don't follow them something will result in a flaw, and cause problems later on (which is why I want this next story to be entirely written out before I begin)
Being constantly influenced by many things also adds to the difficulty, especially when you want to take the elements of things that you like, mesh them together in a new way, and present them to the world. Just the sound of that sounds hard, but it sounds so fun, and so fulfilling.
Recently, I just binged about 300 episodes of anime in the past 1-2 weeks, to get a grasp on what I was writing, and to chew out the flaws and good points other creations have made (notably popular ones, and things I've been generally avoiding). If you want to see what I've been watching, you can check it out here:
Another thing that is creating this writing block, is no less the result of wanting to capture an audience to an enticing story. So many manga, and stories, can have bad starts, and appear as generic, no matter how much effort is put in to make it dynamic. Ignoring the rules feels too dangerous here, but following the flow of the medium, and the rest of the tropes and ideals seems to also lead to a swift death.
Either way, I want to experiment with how I can get people to read a text, without being to overbearingly scary. So I want to appeal in this order:
1. An interesting, unique cover page.
For example, Let's take other manga as an example. Of the cover pages here, which one are you most likely to read?
Without personal Bias, the fourth one seems the most interesting, but the overall level of these title pages seem to draw almost no attention to what the manga is about, except the fourth one, and possibly the fifth one (ignoring the titles).
In their own right, they are trying to appeal to certain audiences, such as the first one, would tend to appeal to people going after shoujo romances. But they are also general enough to leave a wider audience wondering what it is about. More specific targeting cover pages, would use elements such as sexual appeal, an item of interest ( sports, weapons, magic, school clothes) , or anything of the like. But what I would like to make is something that is either shows an original style or representation, that would pique a potential reader's curiosity. Colors, design and overall conveyance are all important. I think the consistent style of Assassination classroom's cover pages brings a curious reader to try it, while bright colors or unusual colors that draw attention that highlight the context of the story, (or does not) does well to bring attention. It is not to say to judge a book by its cover, but people easily judge a book by its cover, nearly all the time.
For my OH MAN covers, I had experimented with this in itself. With an appealing title logo, and ensuring the content of the title pages itself are interesting. Subtitles were also used to help the impression and increase the curiosity levels.The first one, calls out the curiosity factor for this odd looking character in the world. The second cover page, brings in the new characters, which has an appealing factor, working in tandem with this odd character. For cover page 3, I used complementary colors, and an element of the story to bring out interest. For cover page 4, bright warm colors were used to highlight the new world, to create an eye popping sensation. For cover 5, I experimented with a newer style and a more scenic composition and a variety of colors and a misty feel to highlight the fore coming and current elements in the story. I actually considered these elements a little, but composition was more important before most of these creations. Check them out here ( and see how bad they are.. ). Which one do you think is the most interesting?
Aside from cover pages, next would be..
2. Plot summary and Synopsis
Generic plot lines, generic names, and synopsis covering only the beginning scope of the story, are what I dislike the most. Things that do well to leave the reader in thought of the characters and potential elements, instead of summarizing the beginning of the story do much better to present the work. Many works have misleading synopsis of what the actual content of the anime, or manga actually holds, because it doesn't look to the meat of the story, but rather the tip of the iceberg. If you were to go to a fancy restaurant, and order a steak, you would rather want a superb delicacy over a pretty piece of rock. It is much more important to tell you about the taste and texture of the meat, rather than the decorations that present itself for your first impression.
3. Introduction and Beginning events
In line with the synopsis, must work well with the actual beginning of the story and its function. If people can't get curious or interested at the first chapter, it has already failed. People read the synopsis in order to prepare their expectations of the work, and if you make it too specific, what you are limited to do in presentation starts to diminish. Highlight what people seek, and lead them on. Presenting all your cards will limit the ability to do things past the first step.
For the actual story itself, the power of presentation of information has to lull the reader in to ask questions and have them answered, in time and in cycle. Just like a manga, cliffhangers are presented to lead people on to ask a question, and have it become answered in possibly the next chapter. However, it is not just limited to chapter by chapter, but, page by page, event by event, panel by panel, or even text by text. Of course, the smaller the element, it needs less impact, and needs moderation in how important the dialogue is. Set up people to understand what will happen, and try to read the expectations by what has been set up. With this, you can control the reader and the story both, to have a very good time, or a bad time. Its all up to how well it is written and executed.
Those would be my main 3 focuses in creating my new work. But before all that has to even take place, I need to write and ensure that a fantastic, interesting, surprising story can even be made, before introducing all of the extra elements. For my next post, I want to try making a super short story ( or at least an intro to one), and see if you guys are interested in it, or think it sucks.
Anyways, thanks for reading!